My sister in law and I are besties. I see her probably about four to five times a week. I visit with her family (my brother and their three children) at there house on the regular. Lets just say, I’m there so much I almost live there.
When ever I go with me are always my two little ones. Many of the afternoons we visit we don’t leave until bed time. We are there right after the kids get out of school, through dinner time, until they start shutting their house down and I’m to tired really to drive home. Most days I feel guilty of staying because I know they dont have it like that and we are always adding three mouths to their dinner plans. Now I will ask if I can help buy a part of dinner sometimes but not always.
Other times I feel guilty of staying because my brother will make comments like “you should spend time with yourself sometimes” or “alright see you next week”. Tonight he told me,”I’m really just trying to get a good routine down with my kids without anything extra” after I said my goodbyes and joked about how he probably doesn’t wanna see my face for a few days. It’s me, I’m the extra he speaks of. This sounded like to me okay its Monday, I dont wanna see you again for at least five to seven days.
My sister and I are close though. We talk about everything. She is my married friend, my sister in Chirst, and my to go to person. I guess you can call me clingy. Tonight on my drive home I thought to myself, maybe I won’t go back until next week. I thought, maybe I will just call her, maybe I will visit only for an hour every two days or so and leave, or maybe I should just go once a week on like a Saturday or Sunday and just know when it’s my time to go.
It saddens me though. Even still I cant be upset because my brother wants to be at home with just his wife and kids. I know if I just stay away she will call and ask me why. I just feel like suddenly pushing her away though. My husband works nights and when I come home it’s just me and the kids. I’m not saying I don’t like spending time with the kids but I also crave adult interaction. Is my brother right, do I not like to be alone?
During the week, I must confess, I sit at there house even when they are not home. Sometimes my sister comes home on her break from work and I wait just to chat with her for a bit. Why is it that I don’t I go back to my own house? I could be doing my homework, washing clothes, sweeping and mopping floors, organizing my things, sitting out the kids clothing for the following day, or just enjoying my own company in the comfort of my home. There’s a million things I could be doing but instead I sit at their house all day everyday darn near.
Dinners are not being made at home, the kids aren’t doing their chores, and we don’t have a routine at home they we can stick to. Shouldn’t I be concerned of my evening routine with my children as well? Clearly I need to prioritize my weeks better and spend way less time and my families house. Maybe I can learn to love alone time and being in my own space.
There are times when my brother will pull his wife to the side “to talk” and I instantly think it’s about me. She has confessed to me before that he has questioned her about me being there so much. I immediately feel awkward when he pulls her to their room, garage or outside to talk. I’m sure evertime it’s not about me but I’m positive I come up.
Have you ever had something like this happen to you? How does it make you feel? What would you do in this situation? Let me know below, I’d love to hear from you all. MUCH LOVE