Twenty-Seven and Clueless

I’m at a point in my life where I keep asking myself, “What do you want to do with your life?’. I’m trying to figure out who I am, what I like, and what I want to do.

Remember as you were growing up you had all of these hopes, dreams, and things you wanted to accomplish? Well as a child I thought I wanted to be a teacher, one who was friendly and really helped her students. I changed my mind once I got to middle school, children are bad. As a teenager my dream was to become a very successful singer who would be loved greatly by my fans. Then I decided to smoke cigarettes now my voice is not what it once was. As an adult in my earlier twenties I started school run my own daycare one day (following in the foot steps of my mother) but after I had my first child I only wanted to be with my baby. I went to school to be come a Medical Assistant. I just knew that that was my calling and I would retire from a hospital or doctors office. Sad to say it but that too has become a thing of my past.

Currently I’m not sure what I want to do with my life. I’m a wife and a mother and that seems to be all I know and I’m good at. I dream again to travel the world but I don’t have the money to do so. I’ve started and stopped a lot of different businesses or hobbies but I never stick to them long enough. I’ve tried to sing, act, go to school, teach yoga, promote health and wellness, sell clothing, be a blogger, write short stories, and a few other projects/crazy ideas. None of my projects ever stick and I always end back at square one. I end up back clueless searching for my purpose in life once more.

I want to do something with my life I can be not only proud of but something that will make me genuinely happy. I want to do something that allows me to live out my dream of traveling and seeing the world but what is that something?

I’m an independent women

I’m not use to not having to hustle.
I’m not use to not having to do it all.

I’ve been an independent women every since I’ve been seventeen years old. Though yes I’ve had times I had to stick a hand out or ask for a favor I have always had to look out for me. I went from living with my grandmother to staying with friends, to staying with my stepmom to getting my very own apartment all by nineteen. I had my first daughter at that age and I’ve felt the need to be a go-getter/hustler every since.



I was a single mother. Who else was going to take care of me and my little girl if I didnt. I worked so many jobs I think I missed out on moments but we had to survive. If you didnt know me you wouldnt think I was going home to a kid every night the way I worked to provide for her.


By twenty-four I had my second daughter, still having to be a single mother, but I was better established kinda. I only worked one job so I had more of a routine to be a little bit more present the second time around. I’m not going to act like I didnt struggle though.


After having my second daughter I lost my position at work and wasnt able to go right back to work after my leave and it left me devastated and depressed. Still I pushed forward and they were able to place me after a two month wait and a eviction notice.

Current day I’m twenty-seven and my are things different. I have a wonderful husband, whom I’ve been with three years. I’m currently pregnant with my third child (first son). I’m not working, kinda by choice. Also kinda because my husband agreed for me to quit my last job, kinda so I could go back to school and plus it’s a little hard to get a job to accept you months before your due. Either way it’s been driving me nuts.

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Who has time to blog?

Seriously. How can I manage everything and find time to do something I love? I’m too busy. I have about four more loads of clothes to wash four or five to fold, dishes need to be done, my bathroom needs attention, I have homework for three different classes, I need to remember that my oldest has parent/teacher conferences tomorrow and not miss it, I need to call and set an arrangement for my car note , and my room definitely needs me to finish cleaning it.

I also gotta try and squeeze in some alone time in with my husband this weekend, gotta spend some solid time with the girls giving them my love and all my kisses, almost forgot, have to grocery shop on Saturday, oh and I took this part time job at a school (which I started today and I’m very sick so it was terrible), and I’m working all day tomorrow (Friday) so please pray my strength in the Lord.

I need to find time to rest, I really need to take down my daughters hair like today she has picture day Monday, I need to take this cornish hen out the freezer if I plan on having it for dinner Saturday and I need to sit down with hubby and go over our budget the next two weeks.

I just remembered I have to make my youngest and myself a appointment to see the dentist soon. Her school states its mandatory for her to continue attending head start so I better get on that asap. I need an assistant. Reminders set in my phone, notes on a calendar, or relying on my brain is just not enough. So where do I find time to hobby right now? I’m laying in bed throwing this together and getting sleeper by the minute. My womb baby is kicking or flipping up a storm and I need him to tone it down a notch.

How do you all do it? Im exhausted just writing about it. Not to mention I didn’t mention anything about managing my social life.
Do any of you feel overwhelmed with life Duties right now? What are you doing to manage? I’d love to hear from you. Tips are appreciated.