An excerpt from a recent poem by Laura A. Lord: “I could twist the tap and pull myself back until I’m only a few little drops / and then you could catch me in your hands like you used to do.”Running Water
My sister in law and I are besties. I see her probably about four to five times a week. I visit with her family (my brother and their three children) at there house on the regular. Lets just say, I’m there so much I almost live there.
When ever I go with me are always my two little ones. Many of the afternoons we visit we don’t leave until bed time. We are there right after the kids get out of school, through dinner time, until they start shutting their house down and I’m to tired really to drive home. Most days I feel guilty of staying because I know they dont have it like that and we are always adding three mouths to their dinner plans. Now I will ask if I can help buy a part of dinner sometimes but not always.
Other times I feel guilty of staying because my brother will make comments like “you should spend time with yourself sometimes” or “alright see you next week”. Tonight he told me,”I’m really just trying to get a good routine down with my kids without anything extra” after I said my goodbyes and joked about how he probably doesn’t wanna see my face for a few days. It’s me, I’m the extra he speaks of. This sounded like to me okay its Monday, I dont wanna see you again for at least five to seven days.
My sister and I are close though. We talk about everything. She is my married friend, my sister in Chirst, and my to go to person. I guess you can call me clingy. Tonight on my drive home I thought to myself, maybe I won’t go back until next week. I thought, maybe I will just call her, maybe I will visit only for an hour every two days or so and leave, or maybe I should just go once a week on like a Saturday or Sunday and just know when it’s my time to go.
It saddens me though. Even still I cant be upset because my brother wants to be at home with just his wife and kids. I know if I just stay away she will call and ask me why. I just feel like suddenly pushing her away though. My husband works nights and when I come home it’s just me and the kids. I’m not saying I don’t like spending time with the kids but I also crave adult interaction. Is my brother right, do I not like to be alone?
During the week, I must confess, I sit at there house even when they are not home. Sometimes my sister comes home on her break from work and I wait just to chat with her for a bit. Why is it that I don’t I go back to my own house? I could be doing my homework, washing clothes, sweeping and mopping floors, organizing my things, sitting out the kids clothing for the following day, or just enjoying my own company in the comfort of my home. There’s a million things I could be doing but instead I sit at their house all day everyday darn near.
Dinners are not being made at home, the kids aren’t doing their chores, and we don’t have a routine at home they we can stick to. Shouldn’t I be concerned of my evening routine with my children as well? Clearly I need to prioritize my weeks better and spend way less time and my families house. Maybe I can learn to love alone time and being in my own space.
There are times when my brother will pull his wife to the side “to talk” and I instantly think it’s about me. She has confessed to me before that he has questioned her about me being there so much. I immediately feel awkward when he pulls her to their room, garage or outside to talk. I’m sure evertime it’s not about me but I’m positive I come up.
Have you ever had something like this happen to you? How does it make you feel? What would you do in this situation? Let me know below, I’d love to hear from you all. MUCH LOVE
It shouldn’t be too hard now for my children to remember our morning routine, right? I mean my oldest, Celina, will be eight in December. Am I applying to my pressure by assuming that since its her third year in elementary school that she should remember that her face needs to be washed, teeth must be brushed, put on some socks or stockings, shoes should come after with ease, please grab your bookbag, it’s getting cold you need a coat and I know you can’t see (like myself we are blind as bats) get those glasses on your face.
Every morning is a battle with these two. My youngest, Christina, is only three but some days it’s her listening skills that get her in trouble. I’ll ask her to take her pj’s off, which she can, to make it easier for me to come in and get her dressed. I come back a few minutes later and guess who still has on her pj’s? Once I finally get her dressed I tell her socks, shoes, coat. Can you believe she takes her sweet time or she has on her shoes but now she’s walking around dragging the coat behind her. Little girl, “put on that coat now”. I’m starting to think they like to make me fuss.
Let’s not forget the girl fights! “Mom”. “Mommy”.“Stop it, why did you do that”. “Mommy nina hit me”. “She took the phone from me, I had it first”. “Ma”. “Mommy”. “MOMMY”. “MOMMY”. Humor me, am I allowed to change my name from Mom to something else? No, just thought I’d ask. Sometimes I just don’t answer, but believe me they only get louder. Then I have to turn into super annoyed, my headache is starting to form, you both are getting on my very last nerve, and if you call my name one more time I’m getting the belt mom.
Before anyone shames me for saying “I’m getting the belt” in the Bible ( I used the NLT for better translation) Proverbs 23:13-14 states, Don’t fail to discipline your children. The rod of punishment won’t kill them. Physical discipline may well save them from death.
So, do any of you have some crazy things your kids do to make you want wine for breakfast? Please comment, leave me your thoughts, any suggestions you have to help fix my morning routine and as always I look forward to hearing from you all!! MUCH LOVE
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A few days ago I celebrated my twenty seventh birthday. Believe it or not I didnt wake up the happiest about it though. Yes, I’m thankful that I woke up that day, in good health, and alive to enjoy my family another day. The thing is I’ve been stressed a lot lately.
Our bills at home are behind, I’m going through ups and downs raising my children, I’m currently pregnant (so very emotional), I’m struggling in school and I work but not as much so money is an issue. I cant forget to mention that my husband works from sun up until sun down trying his best to support us, which means I miss him greatly. Work though had been on edge for him though. He was working full time has a cook at a restaurant. He ending up picking up a second job to increase his experience and make more money but three months in, because we were unable to obtain his GED, they let him go. For weeks he was only working twenty hours a week at the restaurant and the pay is very little, so our bills suffered. He recently picked up another full time job cooking at another restaurant so he’s back to two jobs but now we are playing catch up.(more…)