R- Respect. Demand to be Respected. Don’t let people walk all over you because your trying to be nice. There’s a different between being nice and being foolish. If they’ve shown they don’t respect you, move on. Stop trying to explain to disrespectful people how they should be treating you. They know, they are just choosing not to show you the respect you deserve. So moving forward you don’t need that in your circle.

E- Expectations. Stop Expecting people to do and be something they are not. Just because you expect people to treat you well doesn’t mean they will. You expect that someone you care about would apologize when they’ve hurt you, but expectations can set you up for failures. Learn to separate expectations and reality.

S- Standards. Have Standards, and that goes for anyone, any type of relationships. If you don’t want to deal with people who constantly talk behind your back, talk down about you, never wanna help you, don’t build you up, don’t stick up for you when necessary and dont benefit your life in any way, Dont! Its doesnt matter if their family either. They got to go! I’m not saying be mean, I’m saying know your worth.

P- Presentation. If people Present themselves as fake, believe what you seeing. If they’ve show you they ain’t no good, stop having faith in bad people to do right. Actions always speak louder than words. Observe how people present their true selves. Don’t get hurt because you chose to wear blinders.

E- Effort. If you put forth an Effort to call, text and check on others but they don’t do it for you, pay attention. Its doesn’t have to be 50/50 but 90/10 is not acceptable. Stop making an effort to run yourself in the ground trying to worry about people who are not worried about you.

C- Commitment. Stop Committing yourself to those who would not make those same commitments to you. You’ll find yourself always upset and stating how you continue to do for people what they wouldn’t think to do for you in return. That’s letting people borrow money, baby-sitting their children, giving them rides, being a good listener, etc.

T- Time. Stop trying to delay when someone’s Time is up in your life. Everyone is not meant to go into the next chapter with you and thats okay. If they’ve served their purpose in your life, when its time to let them go, let them go.

Moving Pass the Past

Many of us can think of one or more situations in our past that has either left us broken-hearted or mentally scarred. Most of us have been able to forgive those people or move on past that hurt. Though there’s still a lot of us that have not been able to let go of the past.

It seems so easy to say that something is no longer bothering you until it comes up. Then all of those feelings of hurt, shame, anger, fear, or sadness come rushing back like they never left. Well that is because they didn’t leave, you’ve only suppressed those feelings. Meaning that you buried those emotions deep down. You just stopped thinking about them but never truly faced them.

Holding on to things the that hurt us don’t heal us. In order for us to heal, and move forward we must acknowledge those things no matter how bad they are. Start forgiving people, not for them, but for you. You may not forget it, but forgiveness will set you free from the very thing that you’ve been holding on to. Forgiveness is not easy. It’s a process that does take time. You may not heal overnight but you will heal overtime.

I’ve learned from experience that if your waiting on a “I’m Sorry” you could be waiting on something you will never get. We have to forgive those who hurt us, because they aren’t holding onto that pain, we are. Believe it or not, sometimes people don’t even know they’ve caused you pain. Then because we expect them to know they’ve hurt us, we’re walking around mad, and upset at the world.  Sometimes we even assume the worst of people who want to give us their best. Just because one or more people wrongs you doesn’t mean that everyone will.

Moving on is the best thing that you can do for you. No one can protect your heart, your feelings or your energy like you can. If you are not religious I respect your decision but if you are encourage you to pray about it. Seek guidance when trying to let go of those painful memories, hurtful words, and those eerie feelings. Allow yourself to trust again, and open up to good people. Don’t assume future relationships will repeat the mistakes of your past ones. I wish you all the best as we all work on shaking off our past.

“How can we move towards the future if we can’t move pass the past”.

Bianca Williams (me)

I Am (Who I Say I Am)

More than often we need to speak life, positive, encouraging, and empowering words to ourselves. Learning to not speak defeat as it will overcome you. Sometimes we are stressed or not feeling like ourselves. This may be due to work, home, friends, family, bills, childcare, corona virus (these days), and whatever else bothers us or gets us worked up. Remember, the tongue is more powerful than you may think. We should all take caution to the things we say in regards to who we are. Claim that success. You are and achiever. You are Smart. You are Winning. Repeat.

I take time to myself weekly to uplift myself and my spirit. Spend sometime to create some “I Am’s” to uplift yourself. Mines are listed below:

I am Bianca.

I am a child of God.

I am Strong.

I am a Wise.

I am a Magnificent.

I am a Fighter.

I am Succesful.

I am Brilliant.

I am Able.

I am Grateful.

I am a Business Owner.

I am Good at everything I put my mind to.

I am Setting my Own Path.

I am Hopeful.

I am somebody Great.

I am going Far in Life.

I am Who I Say I Am.

💙Please feel free to share with me your take away from this exercise!!💙