Third Times the Charm

This time I want my child birth experience to be private and intimate. The first two times I felt so bombarded with family and friends trying more to see and interact with the baby less about my well being and letting me get some rest. I knew they meant well so I never voiced that I wanted more time to myself to be with my babies.


I really wanted to let the moment soak in and get adjusted. As the nurses came in to encourage skin to skin and help me latch the baby on to breast feed I desired those moments to be quite and peaceful. People showed up to hold, take pictures of the baby and some even brought small gifts. It was all nice but very overwhelming and I kinda wished it was different.

So now approaching child birth for the third time I really need all of what I didnt get in the process before. I have to go in for a c-section. Its a very high anxiety and nerve wrecking process for me to begin with. I just want to go in with my husband. I would like only my parents and the God-parents present until he gets here and we get adjusted. Then the rest of the kids will come to greet their baby brother. That’s it!

I don’t want any visitors. I don’t want to be overwhelmed. I dont want pictures taken unless it me or my husband taken them. I dont want anyone in my face. I dont want to share my first moments this time. I just want what my husband and I want, and not feeling pressured to include everyone else in our moment.


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Is it too much to ask that people dont take it personal and get upset that we didn’t include them? I’ve been told “well it’s your baby, you’ll get all the time with the baby when you go home, and that’s selfish”.

Selfish!? Shouldn’t the child birthing experience be one desired by the parent/parents? What do you all think about my well needed desires? Any of you experience similar wants or problems as such during childbirth??

I’m an independent women

I’m not use to not having to hustle.
I’m not use to not having to do it all.

I’ve been an independent women every since I’ve been seventeen years old. Though yes I’ve had times I had to stick a hand out or ask for a favor I have always had to look out for me. I went from living with my grandmother to staying with friends, to staying with my stepmom to getting my very own apartment all by nineteen. I had my first daughter at that age and I’ve felt the need to be a go-getter/hustler every since.



I was a single mother. Who else was going to take care of me and my little girl if I didnt. I worked so many jobs I think I missed out on moments but we had to survive. If you didnt know me you wouldnt think I was going home to a kid every night the way I worked to provide for her.


By twenty-four I had my second daughter, still having to be a single mother, but I was better established kinda. I only worked one job so I had more of a routine to be a little bit more present the second time around. I’m not going to act like I didnt struggle though.


After having my second daughter I lost my position at work and wasnt able to go right back to work after my leave and it left me devastated and depressed. Still I pushed forward and they were able to place me after a two month wait and a eviction notice.

Current day I’m twenty-seven and my are things different. I have a wonderful husband, whom I’ve been with three years. I’m currently pregnant with my third child (first son). I’m not working, kinda by choice. Also kinda because my husband agreed for me to quit my last job, kinda so I could go back to school and plus it’s a little hard to get a job to accept you months before your due. Either way it’s been driving me nuts.

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Who has time to blog?

Seriously. How can I manage everything and find time to do something I love? I’m too busy. I have about four more loads of clothes to wash four or five to fold, dishes need to be done, my bathroom needs attention, I have homework for three different classes, I need to remember that my oldest has parent/teacher conferences tomorrow and not miss it, I need to call and set an arrangement for my car note , and my room definitely needs me to finish cleaning it.

I also gotta try and squeeze in some alone time in with my husband this weekend, gotta spend some solid time with the girls giving them my love and all my kisses, almost forgot, have to grocery shop on Saturday, oh and I took this part time job at a school (which I started today and I’m very sick so it was terrible), and I’m working all day tomorrow (Friday) so please pray my strength in the Lord.

I need to find time to rest, I really need to take down my daughters hair like today she has picture day Monday, I need to take this cornish hen out the freezer if I plan on having it for dinner Saturday and I need to sit down with hubby and go over our budget the next two weeks.

I just remembered I have to make my youngest and myself a appointment to see the dentist soon. Her school states its mandatory for her to continue attending head start so I better get on that asap. I need an assistant. Reminders set in my phone, notes on a calendar, or relying on my brain is just not enough. So where do I find time to hobby right now? I’m laying in bed throwing this together and getting sleeper by the minute. My womb baby is kicking or flipping up a storm and I need him to tone it down a notch.

How do you all do it? Im exhausted just writing about it. Not to mention I didn’t mention anything about managing my social life.
Do any of you feel overwhelmed with life Duties right now? What are you doing to manage? I’d love to hear from you. Tips are appreciated.