A few days ago I celebrated my twenty seventh birthday. Believe it or not I didnt wake up the happiest about it though. Yes, I’m thankful that I woke up that day, in good health, and alive to enjoy my family another day. The thing is I’ve been stressed a lot lately.
Our bills at home are behind, I’m going through ups and downs raising my children, I’m currently pregnant (so very emotional), I’m struggling in school and I work but not as much so money is an issue. I cant forget to mention that my husband works from sun up until sun down trying his best to support us, which means I miss him greatly. Work though had been on edge for him though. He was working full time has a cook at a restaurant. He ending up picking up a second job to increase his experience and make more money but three months in, because we were unable to obtain his GED, they let him go. For weeks he was only working twenty hours a week at the restaurant and the pay is very little, so our bills suffered. He recently picked up another full time job cooking at another restaurant so he’s back to two jobs but now we are playing catch up.
Let’s just say my plate is very full. I’m trying to juggle way to much without the proper time management skills. Motherhood is a full time job itself. My husband (of which I’ve only been married to four months and nineteen days today yay) allows me to work part, part-time so it gives me the ability to focus more on raising my children but it seems there still are not enough hours in the day. I cant completely focus on being a mother when I have six chapters to read for three different classes and I need to work so many hours to keep my phone on, my car running, and help keeping the roof over our heads.
Many days I struggle with what I’m suppose to be doing. I’d love nothing more than to be a full time stay at home mother but society makes me feel that the only way to get ahead is education. I ask myself often if I even want to be what I’m attending school to become. A career is great, great benefits, great pay, and possibly a set schedule. What happens though when you have mandatory overtime or hours that dont allow me to do pick up/drop off my kiddies at school. I’ll have a newborn soon, will I really wanna leave my child to a sitter, or pay for childcare?
Mentally I have just been having a lot on my mind so excuse my lack of excitement I had about celebrating my birthday. Lack of money doesn’t give me the opportunity to do much of anything. I’d love to go to dinner, see a movie, maybe go to a concert, or get away for a weekend but home comes first. So I bought myself a cake for my Birthday. I told myself that I would find a way to be happy in the mist of it all. I went to the dollar tree and got myself some cake plates, a table cloth, party favors, and balloons. I thought to myself, I’ll set up the table at my moms and I’ll have a party with my mom and my girls. They will have fun with me at my little party.
My sister had me stop by her house before going to my moms. My sister, brother, niece and nephew got me a gift. I cried a little. My mom ending up buying dinner for me and the girls and I was super satisfied with that. Then my husband calls me and tells me he has a surprise. He got off work early to be with me and I was so excited because I didn’t think I’d see him at all after I left home in the am to start my day. So of course I invited him to my little party. He brought me flower and it just made my night. Turns out it wasnt the dreadful day I thought it would be. So Happy Birthday to Me! Maybe starting Chapter 27 isn’t so bad after all.
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